Resistance is a Bitch.
Resistance. I see it ALL THE TIME. And I bump into it frequently myself. I am not going to lie to you or sugar coat it… It’s a real bitch. I have seen so many individuals (and personally experienced on a bazillion of occasions myself) where when we don’t actually say YES to something, in the very heat of the moment when we are moved to say yes, if we do not fully commit to it right then and there – mind, body, soul, verbally out loud to another human being, lock it in, schedule it, pay for it, and/or whatever else is necessary to be ALL IN – If we don’t say YES to the thing that we KNOW will rock our world and sustainably alter it FOREVER, then we will be doomed to the hamster wheel of hell where we feel moved to do something yet we come up with a million and 5 reasons to not do it right now, we promise ourselves we will get to it later, and tomorrow will be a better time to put in the work to create a life that we love living. (You know, I mean because we are sooooo busy… living a life that is mediocre, and safe, predictable, over planned, and comfortable…) The array of excuses come fast and furious – Like…. – “That is a lot of money” (I mean… technically I have the money … but…. I was saving it for an emergency… or for retirement… or for in case a tree falls on my house… or if I am walking across the street and get hit by a truck…..) Or maybe your go to excuse is – “I don’t have time for that” (followed by engaging in a slue of mindless time wasting activities that we are not even consciously aware that we are doing). Or, maybe you have a demanding career and you “can’t take the time off work.” And the voice inside you is all “ Trust me, the world will fall apart if I am not there to do my job”. (I was there once upon a time – I went 4 years of not a single day where I didn’t do work. And then I found myself in burnout city. No relationship. Lots of drinking and numbing. Resentful as all can be. Lots of losing my shit. Lots of mental breakdowns. I was a real gem to be around, let me tell you. It’s SUPER fun. Good luck with that!) Or, here’s a good one – “I am not 100% sure that that is THE thing I have been looking for… I’m like 99% sure…. But NOT 100% FOR SURE… sooooo I’ll keep looking” (waiting rather, endlessly for that thing, that perfect thing, the RIGHT thing, the holy grail, the magic bullet, the brick upside our head… the thing that never comes…. And we are STUCK in a life of settling for mediocrity!)
Dabbling is a Son of a Bitch.
Another interesting pattern we engage in as humans is that we like to dabble. Put one foot in the water. See how it feels before we jump in. Or sometimes we just sit on the side of the metaphorical pool and never even get in the damn pool to swim, play, float, and experience what life has to offer.
When we do not say YES to ourselves, especially in the moments where our intuition is SCREAMING at us… When we aren’t fully committed to something and say YES, I’m ALL IN, especially in the heat of the moment where we have just enough courage to say yes, (which is a VERY small window of time before our excuses come in to take over and hold us back from epic heights, heights higher than you can even fathom and imagine at this very moment) what inevitably happens, is that we stay stuck in our old ways. The same ways that got us stuck in this steaming pile of cow poop of mediocrity in the first place….
And then if you do have your foot dipped in the metaphorical pool, but you are not in the pool with full immersion just yet – When a gust of wind comes by (i.e. any single tiny obstacle), then when things get tough, you start to use the lack of commitment as an opportunity to not move forward – One toe in the water, thinking “oh man look how much fun everyone is having swimming with the dolphins” (my metaphorical pool has dolphins, feel free to create your own euphoric pool), “man I should TOTALLY jump in!” “OK guys, I’m going to do it, I am coming in…” (insert the slightest hesitation) and then oh wait, gust of wind… and the window of opportunity is GONE… in a split second, just like that… All of a sudden thinking to oursleves “man it’s going to be sooo cold in there”… “I can always come back another day, when it’s warmer”…. The moment is lost, everyone else has an experience of a lifetime, living it up, loving on the dolphins… taking an underwater ride with flipper, and you are outside the pool… warm… comfortable… MISSING OUT, yet masterfully convincing yourself that it’s totally OK to not be doing the one thing that has been your childhood dream since you can remember, all because of one little gust of wind!
A more practical example may be an experience that you have been dying to do – Maybe it’s to take an improv class or to go on a particular trip, or to start your own journey of self discovery by seeing a therapist, a life coach, a healer, a sprit guide, or maybe you’ve always wanted to learn Spanish, or go to Paris…. (insert your list of things here)… and then your brain creates an imaginary gust of wind, and you are in the hamster wheel of hell of mediocrity – convinced you will get out of it one of these days magically, without having to do any work or experience any discomfort. Maybe they will make a magic pill one of these days that you can take and it will change your life in an instant.
OR… maybe you can try something different for once. Maybe you can say YES to yourself, and make this year a year where you stop dreaming of an epic existence and you actually start creating one through small tiny action steps, peppered with some bold moves, and screw the voice in your head that has an abundance of excuses. Just DO “IT” – That thing that your intuition says to do. The thing that is terrifying to think about doing, yet you KNOW is going to be THE thing that you need to grow, expand, and create an epic existence! What are you waiting for?! Stop waiting! Knock it off! You are smarter than this!
Set yourself up for success. Give yourself the best chance at moving incrementally towards everything you dream of so that you can have no regrets. Give everything you’ve got so that you never look back and wonder… “what if…”
There is a quote in Steven Pressfield’s book Do the Work that discusses just how common resistance is and how it operates:
“Rule of thumb: The more important a call to action is to our soul’s evolution, the more resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.”
It’s normal in the beginning of an epic journey to have lots of gusts of wind, and to be faced with typical resistance blocks daily that really stop you in your tracks, that leave you feeling helpless, and prevent you from feeling as if you are overcoming your blocks and moving closer to your ideal life at the pace that you would like. Know these blocks are coming, so that they aren’t such a shock to the system when you experience them. JUMP IN! (Sure, the water is cold, jump in anyways! And after you’ve been in it for a few seconds, or hell maybe even a few minutes, you acclimate!) Commit to yourself! Get in the pool! Don’t give up on yourself or the process at the beginning of your journey when what you are experiencing is normal and merely your lifetimes worth of programming and default settings that are holding you back from your ideal self. Everyone who enters into their own self mastery journey experience resistance at the beginning, and even throughout the journey, and it is important to know that it is on the horizon.
There is a quote by W.H. Murray that talks about the resistance you will face when you are on the journey to greatness and you have not yet given yourself the gift of fully committing to the process:
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets: ‘Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it’. Begin it now.”
Figure out a way to set yourself up for success and get creative to commit fully to the process upfront, so that you can give yourself full permission to actually commit to the journey abundantly, be fully engaged to it, and be gentle with yourself as you encounter the typical blocks that come up along the way. Committing upfront stops the inevitable chatter that will happen in the brain. It stops the bully dead in it’s tracks – That bully inside you who judges your every move, and who tells you why bother, who says this isn’t working, etc. – The sheer act of committing upfront takes power from the bully and the worrier voice. The good news is that it does get easier as you progress along your journey, and even just 3 months from now you will be able to see the progress and benefits much more clearly. The process of reprogramming takes a lot of work, and I am not going to lie, it is hard especially in the beginning. No matter what route you take to make the change you will face resistance from yourself, which is totally normal. Through guidance, time, consistency, and repetition you will overcome the blocks that are in your way.
Make sure that you are setting yourself up for success to achieve the dreams that you have so that you can create and live the life that you want to live. Commit fully to the process.
You may be thinking – OK, OK, I hear you, but – HOW do I get the journey started? What is the first step? Come on now… You know I’ve got you!! J
Step one – Grab a piece of paper and something to write with. Put that to the side, I’ll let you know when you need it. Take a moment to sit in silence. Breathe deep. Relax. Start to imagine how you would like life to be different? How you would like your life to look different. Don’t write anything just yet, just sit with it, vision it, be with it, feel it. Imagine your ideal life. This is a magic wand scenario – it doesn’t matter if you even think it is possible (bc let’s be real it isn’t possible unless you commit to yourself and start making some changes) – For now just tap into that Disney magic imagination inside of you and vision a life that you absolutely LOVE living! Sit with it… be with it… vision… take a few minutes to just create – like painting your new life on a blank canvas in your mind.
When you are ready… Write down what came up in your vision –
How does your vision FEEL different than how your current life feels today?
What are the things that are abundantly present in your vision that are missing from your life today?
Who are the new people that show up in your vision that aren’t present today? And/Or who are the people that are missing from your vision, that are in your life today?
What are the 5 most predominant feelings that you would experience every single day if your vision was in fact a reality?
Now…Continue to explore and write…
What are 10 things that you could do to bring more of those 5 predominant feelings into your life today?
From your heart space, from your intuition, from your gut… what is the single most important thing that you know you need to do that will make the most epic impact in your life and boldly change the trajectory or your life sustainably forever? What is the one thing that when you do that ONE thing, that it will break the hamster wheel of hell, of being stuck in mediocrity, and break you free from the groundhog day of insanity? Insanity – Doing the same thing over and over and expecting new results…. What is the bold new thing that you can do NOW, right now, this very moment, to say YES to YOU and your intuition and desires and dreams, that will stretch you out of your comfort zone, and allow you to do things DIFFERENT so that this year will be a year where you’ll look back and say, “that was THE year that changed it all!”?
***Warning – Ignore the bully/worrier voice and all of the excuses that will MOST DEF come up and try to keep you stuck. Yes, the water is cold. Ignore the wind. It’s all trying to keep you comfortable. Comfort means nothing changes. Comfort means that everything will be the EXACT same, ALWAYS. If you don’t make a change, take a chance, risk, step outside of your comfort zone, say YES to you, live in your heart space where your gut and intuition guide you… then where you are in life right now at this very moment – in love, at work, and in play – is exactly where you will always be. The things you yearn for will be just that – yearnings. The visions you just dreamt of, will stay as mere visions. The pain you feel today will be ever present. You will stay stuck until something changes. YOU are the only one who has the power to make the change.
What are you going to do different?
What are you going to say YES to?
What is your bold move that you will do to become a fierce, fearless, unstoppable you?
Now – share that ONE THING with 3 friends RIGHT NOW. Literally, RIGHT NOW. Text them. (I know, I know, the excuses are already coming fast and furious aren’t they. See, I told you this would happen!!! I am not making this stuff up! The resistance set in for you the second you read that you had to actually DO something different, and to do it IMMEDIATELY – Action, and immediacy, the most epic partners in crime! Oh, how the voice throws a temper tantrum fit – “What does she mean right now? I mean obviously I can do it later today, I’m super busy right now, and this article was a lot longer than I thought it would be, and ahhhhhhhh that is uncomfortable to have to tell people what I am going to do because then I would have to actually DO IT!”…)
YOU create your life. Your choices define you. Action is the key to creating and living a life you LOVE living. DO IT NOW. Like RIGHT NOW. Like THIS VERY SECOND. You can MF me all day long. Just give yourself the best gift imaginable and send text messages to your 3 people of 1. What you are going to do different. And 2. How they can help hold you accountable to that thing… One day you will thank me… but that day may take a while because there is a bumpy ride ahead, so I wont hold my breath on the receiving of thanks. Buckle up! Enjoy the journey ahead!!!
And if you are really feeling BOLD… Share with us – What is your one thing? Do something different right this very second and proclaim your one thing to the world! Change your life forever!
As always sending you light and love, along with vibes of epic adventures, growth, progress, strength, courage, boldness, epicocity (epic-velocity), and a life that you absolutely love living, where you pinch yourself because you can’t even believe it’s real!