Overwhlem and Resistance can be a real son of a bitch.
When I rolled out my newsletter I promised it was “Epic” and “Sexy” and that my peeps were going to learn how to create their very own Epic and Sexy Life as a result of being on board this ESY Newsletter Rocket to the Moon… and then NADA. Zip. Zero. Zelch.
I dug deep inside and asked myself “WTF is going on?!” And sure, I had a long list of excuses that came to mind that could answer why I was not making this a top priority – I’ve been prepping for retreats and events… Costa Rica, Tulum Mexico, South Africa, Toronto, Chicago…. I am Writing a book. I’ve been Connecting with and enjoying my soul sister friends and enjoying the company of the love of my life. I’ve been spending solo time with yours truly and experiencing some good ole self lovin’ like doing my nails, getting a massage, yoga, meditation, etc.
And if I am being REALLY honest with myself… there are many procrastination activities that I’ve been actively participating in…. …A love affair with Netflix. Staring at the ceiling. A new procrastination activity that I uncovered today… napping. Sure, I enjoy a good nap every now and then, but come on, WTH?! This particular one was literally JUST a resistance nap. It is so incredibly bizarre. It’s those moments where you know that you are doing something that is completely self-sabotaging behavior and you can’t even stop yourself. It happens to us all, and it is infuriating!!!
As I was asking myself what the hell was wrong with me, the first thing that came to mind is – “well shit Morgan, writing is vulnerable as hell!” Followed by an intuitive download that I received that was a reminder of a quote I truly believe in in every fiber of my being to be true, which is that “the more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more Resistance we will feel” – Steven Pressfield, Do the Work. And then the epiphany sunk in – writing must be tied to something SUPER important to my soul’s destiny, because I am not often met with this much resistance about anything!!! Which immediately lead me to my GAME ON attitude. (OK, well if I am being honest, first it was a nap… and THEN it was game on. (Don’t judge me! Haha)
And this leads me to my code breaking download for the day: What if your overwhelm and your resistance is your exact clue that you are on the edge of something AMAZING. Something EPIC. Something LIFE ALTERING! Something MIND BLOWING!!!! But your current pattern is to shy away from it. Your current pattern is to let the overwhelm and resistance stop you dead in your tracks… Well, what if there was a way to break free from these patterns and step into the beautiful rewards that await you?…..
INSERT CODE BREAKING TIME!!
BREAKING FREE FROM RESISTANCE AND OVERWHELM!!!
- IDENTIFY IT. ACKNOWLEDGE IT. Ask yourself – Where am I experiencing resistance in my life? How is it showing up? What is it holding me back from?
- REFRAME IT.
What if this resistance meant that that exact thing… that very single thing…What if once you do that thing, that your life will be sustainably changed forever, and you will unlock an epic code in your own life that will send your trajectory skyrocketing?!
What is the BEST case scenario if you do that very thing?! Give yourself permission to dream, go wild, have fun. Be playful, get grand with your vision, hell you can meet Oprah if you want to! OK OK that last part is MY dream, but it can be yours too! There is enough Oprah love to go around people!!! She is Oprah for God sake! DREAM BIG DAMNIT!
- LEAN INTO IT. DO IT. DO THAT VERY THING. Honestly this is where I lose a lot of people. They are all, “yea, if it was that easy I would already be doing it!!!!” I swear, when some people come at me with this it is as if they are about to turn into a huge green hulk of a monster with all of the rage behind their frustrated proclamation. And that rage and frustration makes perfect sense, because somewhere along the way they have developed a pattern that is prevented them from the habit of “doing”.
So let’s look at the 7 most common pattern breaks that you can play with in an effort to actually DO that thing.
- THINK SMALLER. You may be at the bottom of the massive mountain, staring at the top of it, instead of looking your feet and determining one step at a time. “It” whatever “it” is, is quite possibly too large of a thing to be done in one sitting, and so you are experiencing the “why bother” or the “I’ll do it tomorrow” syndrome. If “it” can’t possibly be done in one day then break “it” down into something more digestible. Something smaller. Something that does not max out your attention span. For example – What is something that you can do in 30 minutes or less that would make you feel like you are moving one step closer to “it”?
- ONE THING AT A TIME!!! Just focus on: One foot in front of the other – One step at a time. For example – Each morning when you wake up, ask yourself – what is ONE thing that I can do today that will allow me to move one step closer to completing “it”. And then do that thing. Remember – 30 minutes or less, or shit, even 15 minutes if that means that is your maxed out attention span. And you can develop and strengthen your attention span like you can a muscle in the body. So if your span is short now, over time you can increase it to 20 mins, then 25, 30, etc. Don’t limit yourself to a locked in identity. That will just keep you in the exact same place you are now, with the exact same patterns, and the exact same undesired results.
- TRY A NEW APPROACH. One of the most common approaches that I see people try, (myself included), is committing to a chunk of time on their calendar to do “it”, and then using that time to do something else. Or for a lot of people I notice that they don’t allocate a particular time of day at all. They just say I’ll do it on Sunday. Or I’ll do it on Sunday night. And then Sunday comes and goes, and “it” was never done. Some people pick a time and day, but something always comes up at that time. Look at what your common patterns are. For example, ask yourself – What are the most common approaches that I am trying that are not working for me? What are the most common excuses that I am utilizing? What are the patterns that I can see myself repeating that are yielding undesirable outcomes? What is a NEW approach that I can try? What are the best times of day for me to do “it”? What are the worst times of day for me to do “it”? What can I change in my environment to set myself up for success to actually get “it” done? As my boy Emerson says – “All of life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.” When you experiment you learn. When you try new things you see what works for you and what doesn’t. You grow. You get new information that can help you crack your own codes, find your missing pieces, get answers to questions that have been plaguing you for years, break your old patterns, and create a life you love! So get “try” happy! Try new ways of doing “it”. If you don’t, I can promise you that years will go by and you will be in the exact same situation, with the exact same patterns and habits, and the exact same undesired results.
- REMOVE OBSTACLES. Ask yourself – What are the most common procrastination activities that I am participating in and how can I eliminate them? For example – When I first went full time with my business I noticed that I would sit in front of the tv and just get sucked in, watching God knows what for HOURS. It became very clear to me that I was using it as a procrastination activity to masterfully avoid being productive. Which was wildly opposing to my desire to get shit done and create a thriving empire. So, I called and broke up with my cable provider. They didn’t understand – “It’s not you, it’s me” I tried telling them over and over. Eventually, after their stalkerish behavior – the calls, the letters, the non stop pursuits, the constant tantilizing offers to get me back… I was strong, and have been tv free ever since. Well, that is until my love affair with Netflix. Damn you Netflix. I might have to reevaluate that relationship at some point in the near future too. As you can see this step requires being incredibly honest with yourself, constantly checking in with yourself, calling Bullshit on yourself when need be, and the courage to DO something about whatever it is that is getting in your way of the things you truly desire! The key to pattern breaking is in the action of doing.
- CREATE A HABIT OUT OF “IT”. Make “it” a daily integration of your life. Maybe even just start with 15 minutes a day dedicated to “it”. And the cool thing is, even if “it” is a project that will come to a completion or an end at some point – with a finished masterpiece to show for all of your hard work – you will have created a habit of ACTION. And a HABIT OF ACTION is hands down one of the most powerful game changers of all time. So, if you have an “it” that comes to an end, just replace “it” with another “it.” And so on and so on. REPEAT.
- FINISH ONE STEP BEFORE STARTING THE NEXT. Make it a habit to stick with ONE THING at a time and FINISH IT. If you constantly change your one thing, if you never finish what you start, you will never move forward. And without forward momentum you will always feel stuck! ALWAYS. It’s about ensuring that you are always moving forward, and always completing pieces so that you can build upon them with the next piece, instead of just having a ton of half done pieces around you and BAM you’re back in stuckville!
- SOMETIMES GOOD ENOUGH IS GOOD ENOUGH. “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good” – Voltaire. It’s better to deliver something good, than to never deliver anything at all because you are waiting for perfect (which never comes.) And eventually, with the habit of breaking free from perfection, your versions of “good” get better and better. For example – The layout of this very page is a hot damn mess! I am well aware. If you are on a laptop or desktop device you will see the newsletter sign up on the right hand side all squished and jumbled. And no matter what device you are reading this blog post on, there is an obnoxiously large text that is after this post that invites you to subscribe to the blog so you always get posts directly to your inbox! Here is the thing… I HATE the look and feel. And I know some thaaangs need to be changed. But I am not even actually sure HOW to change them just yet because someone else set them up. So… I can either NOT post and wait until this page is perfect… or, I can post as is, and figure it out later. Since waiting for perfection that never comes is something I am most definitely working on breaking free from in my own resistance pattern blocks, I just hit post and called it a day. I am a work in progress, we all are. And these posts, my website, my newsletters, they all could be better and so I will continue to make small incremental shifts of one good enough after another, until it’s all pretty damn great! And then I will find something else to improve on, to grow, to stretch, to uplevel, and so on and so forth until I take my last breath!
Let me be crystal clear, so as not to have your head spinning, where you go even more intensely in a state of overwhelm, and to prevent you from turning into the Hulk (because let’s face it that look is not sexy on anyone)….
Here is how you can actually use these key 7 pattern breaking pieces above:
Ask yourself – Which of these is the piece of the puzzle that is going to be the most impactful for where I am at right now in my own journey of resistance?
And then play with that ONE piece!! Have fun with it! Keep it at the very forefront of your mind all day every day. Own it. Play with ONE piece at a time!!! Get good at that ONE piece and then try adding another piece to your puzzle!!!! For example – Right now I’ve noticed that I need to finish one “it” before going to the next. Do you know how many half written code breaking downloads that I have for all of you?! But then I break another pattern, I crack another code and get busy writing on that instead of completing the first! Also, I need to face the vulnerability and fears of something just being “good enough” as opposed to waiting for perfection. I need to let it rip, imperfections and all – post it, share it, and allow all of you epic sexy souls access to the growth and expansion that my clients and I have been able to experience as a result of these code breaking pattern shattering insights that have been revealed to me!
I invite you to share your journey! What is working? Where are you still stuck? I am here to help! Feel free to reach out to me! Leave a comment below or you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Share this link with friends and family that you notice are facing their own levels of resistance and overwhelm! Help your loved ones take their power back and push through to reap the rewards that are waiting for them on the other side!!!
Now go show those undesired patterns whose BOSS!!!