Did you know that the thoughts you have each day are made up of 70% of your thoughts from the day before?? Crazy, right?!

It’s why I took a good, hard look at my nightly ritual and refined it to include amazing thoughts and thankfulness!

I talk about this in detail with Thor Conklin on his Podcast (listen to it here!), Peak Performers, but I’ll break it down for you here, too!!

Each night in that window right before I fall asleep, I spend the five minutes intentionally programming what I want to think about the next day! Different days I do different things, but here are a few examples:

1. What I’m grateful for

This is a great one! In those minutes before I head into dreamland, I will be super conscious about what (and who) I’m thankful for!!

So I will think of my nephew, think of my man, think of the amazing South Africa retreat that is coming up and reflect that I can’t believe this is my life! It’s just amazing!

2. I love you!

There are other evenings I will just put my hand on my heart and say, “I love you, thank you” and think about all the people in my life that I really love and that I’m really thankful for … including myself!

I will literally say, “I love you thank you” for each of my clients, going through each person and do that!

3. Vision Space

What is going to be different in my life six months from now?? How will that look and feel?

Right before I fall asleep, I will really envision it! I also think of the following day and what that will look like. How will tomorrow go?

No matter what it is, it’s using the time to consciously and intentionally create my life instead of haphazardly waiting for something to happen and react to it!

Results!

My intention around my nighttime routine translates into every facet of my life! I will find myself thinking, “I love my life, I love my life, holy crap, I can’t believe this is my life – pinch me!”

That carries over into my business relationships and projects, my time with family and friends, my general demeanor!

What are you doing before you fall asleep at night? Is it bringing you peace or bringing you stress?

Comment to let me know and don’t forget to listen to my Podcast interview with Thor!

I am writing this two days before the beginning of the New Years Day cleanse whilst indulging in my favorite chocolate sorbet, a ritual that seems to be quite common prior to cleansing – a bingeing farewell…. Oh boy… here we go already – the brain and resistance! !

Here is the low down on the cleanse…

 

First off, its important to ask yourself – Why am I cleansing?

My answer – To launch myself into 2015 with a badass challenge that will allow me to explore what happens when you take away one of the longest standing habits of all man kind – Chewing… For me it is about mind domination, and staring resistance in the face and owning it like it’s my bitch! Showing it who is BOSS. ME. I am the BOSS. Consciously, and intentionally studying the voices in the mind that are behind the fear and resistance to change, and taking the power away from them, so that they know that I mean business and that 2015 belongs to me, to my heart, my soul, my deepest desires, and making my dreams come true once and for all, and for them to know that I will NOT let anything get in the way of that, not even my own voices of fear and resistance that reside within! The more you confront them, the less power they have. They become a mere whisper as opposed to a loud, barking, crazy mad dog, foaming at the mouth at the slightest appearance and or though of change! For me it is also about reframing my relationship and association with food. Food is FUEL, period.

Additionally – There are some speculated physical benefits that a cleanse can offer the body. It can restore the body to its optimal levels for peak performance, it has been said that it cleanses the body of toxins, and rids the system of all the junk. It allows for mental focus and intense clarity, and during a cleanse you may feel revitalized, energized, rejuvenated, recharged, and renewed! Also, in giving your digestive system a break, you allow your pipes time to actually clear out and cleanse so that you can restore your system to optimal digestive performance! Cleansing gives the adrenals time away from stimulants (coffee,/alcohol alcohol, refined foods, sugar) that wreak havoc and cause adrenal fatigue. Healthy adrenals allow the mind and body to cope with everyday stress without getting overwhelmed.

All of that being said… I am going to do a cleanse that is of the following detailed nature…. And I invite you to explore your WHY first and foremost and then build a cleanse around YOUR why, one that is aligned with YOUR desires and needs, so that you can give your mind, body, and soul what it is craving. (Also, after my detailed cleanse, I have listed what a varied option is so as to give you an idea of different variations that are possible)

 

My Cleanse

14 days

First 7 days – Water, and Veggies. All drinks are made in a blender or a juicer – No Chewing. No Caffeine. No Sugar (no fruit, no gum, no mints, etc. even if they are sugar-free – nada, zip, zilch) Literally – Nothing other than water, and veggie drinks for 7 days straight. i.e. Vitamix – through a bunch of miscellaneous veggies in – beets, kale, spinach, mushrooms, carrots, etc – Add water – Blend – Drink.

7 days of no caffeine and no sugar – gives my adrenals a break! 🙂

Second 7 Days – Add fruit. Nothing else changes. Still no chewing.

There is no limit to the amount of food that I can eat/drink. I will listen to the body and give it the nutrients it is craving, and only indulge when I am hungry.

 

Alternative option as an example 

14 days

First 7 days – Water. Veggies. Nuts. All Raw. But can eat it however your little heart desires! Everything else is the same – No Caffeine. No Sugar (no fruit, no gum, no mints, etc. even if they are sugar-free – nada, zip, zilch) Literally – Nothing other than water, veggies and nuts for 7 days straight.  

7 days of no caffeine and no sugar – gives your adrenals a break! 🙂

Second 7 Days – Add fruit. Nothing else changes

There is no limit to the amount of food that you can eat/drink. Listen to the body and give it the nutrients it is craving, and only indulge when you are hungry. Play with the idea of food being FUEL, intended to keep you at optimal peak operating performance – Mind, body, and soul! 🙂

 

Preparation – 

BE PREPARED!  AHEAD OF TIME!!!  Tomorrow, the day before the cleanse – I will be going to the store and getting veggies galore!!!!  I already have an idea of the types of veggies that I will be blending – beets, carrots, kale, mushrooms, spinach, etc.  So I will be loading up on those, and I will then use my Vitamix and blend enough to last me 2-3 days to get this party started! I will store them in air tight containers, and put them in my fridge, and then every time I leave the house I will bring one or two with me!  And if you work outside of the house, you can bring everything with you!  Pack it up, make a picnic!  You can store the food in your companies fridge, or if they don’t have one then pick up a cooler at the store!  Preparing AHEAD of time is a HUGE part of being able to follow through and get your cleanse on!  You can either find an excuse, or you can find a path to success.  If you find yourself coming up with a lot of excuses as to why you won’t be able to start on New Years day, then ask yourself – Where else might this pattern of excuses and resistance be playing into my life?  And… When am I going to finally stare resistance dead in the eyes and let it know who’s the boss?!  

 

Cleanse for the Mind, Body, and /or Soul…

Cleansing can be done for more than just the body…. For some people it may be that you are craving the need to cleanse your closet – to organize and purge.  For others, it may be the craving and need to cleanse your office – to organize and purge all the piles and stacks so that you can have clarity and focus, distraction free as you build your wealth and your empire.  It is all about honoring your body, mind, and soul, and doing what YOU feel is best for YOU.  Giving yourself what you need to grow, learn, explore, restore, and thrive. 

 

Feel free to create your own version of a cleanse and let us know what yours is –  let’s share ideas, recipes, tips, tricks, and anything else that you come across that is beneficial! Use this crew as a support system, when you need to vent, when you need help, when you want to celebrate your epic success, when you need accountability to push you through to the finish line, etc.  We are a community of Epic Sexy Badasses getting our Sexy Swag of a Cleanse on – Lets do this!!!  🙂

 

xoxo,

Morgan

Instagram – @epicsexyyou
Twitter – @epicsexyyou
YouTube Channel – EpicSexyYou

 

 

Hello there you EPIC SEXY SOUL!!!!! 

 

LOVE THIS!!! Just received an email from Danielle LaPorte with:
   

“Michael Franti — for a prayer:

     Here’s what my mama said
     Do it for the love, not for the money
     Not for the guns and not for the honeys
     Do it ‘cause it makes you feel alive
     Like the way we rockin’ on Saturday night
     Do it for the love of it, do it for the smell of it
     Do it for the joy and the taste and the hell of it
     Do it ‘cause you love it and it makes no sense
     Not yens or euros or dollars or cents”

I could not agree with this more!!  YES YES YES!! Do it all to to FEEL ALIVE! Do it all for the JOY! Just do what FEEDS YOUR SOUL, and everything else falls into place!!! Story of my life!!

I know, I know, WAY easier said then done, but I can assure you, as I am LIVING PROOF, that it IS possible, that you CAN break free from the fear that holds you back from your wildest dreams, that you CAN create a life that you absolutely LOVE living, filled with endless adventures, feeling ALIVE every single day, with an overwhelming abundance of things to be grateful for surrounding you at all times, where you bring the best version of you everywhere you go, where you embrace the unknown, where you approach all “problems” and “challenges” as an exciting opportunity to learn, grow, and focus all of your time and energy strategizing on all the endless possibilities of solutions to solve the complex puzzles that life delivers in just the right time to be the best blessings and gifts that will be precisely what you need for the next step on your journey, AND of course to look and FEEL SEXY while doing it all!

When times get hard – breathe, relax, tap into your heart space and intuition, and trust the journey.  It’s plan for you always trumps your own plan.  The best things in life that happen to us are often times the things that we didn’t see coming.  The hardest times that we face in life are to build strength for us to share our own light with the world, they are necessary for us to become smarter, stronger, and more resilient.  They are a GIFT if you choose to let them be so.  Even the worst things in life can be the very things that help navigate us to the who that we were put here to be so that we can make this world a better place.  

One such guy is one I have recently started following – Louis Howes. He stumbled across my Instagram page and started following me, so I checked his page out and this man is most def an EPIC and BRILLIANT Soul!  Def part of the ESY tribe of individuals who are defying limitations, creating a life they LOVE living, THRIVING all day every day, enjoying endless adventures, and from the looks of things he is looking and feeling sexy in his own skin!  EpicSexyBadass for sure! 🙂

I got an email from Jonathan Fields of the Good Life Project, another EpicSexySoul, with some info and an interview on Lewis Howes that I thought I would share with each of you to get your own daily dose of inspiration!!! Inspiration ahead!!! 🙂 

Lewis Howes is a radiant, towering hulk of a human being. Driven, energized, magnetic and successful. I’ve known Lewis for a number of years now and consider him a good friend.

When he came to me earlier this year to share a dark, incredibly-painful secret from his childhood, I was floored. Did not see it coming. He’d been living with the pain and deep trauma of sexual abuse for decades. At the hands of another man, though he was just a boy.

When he told me, a few months after, that he wanted to “go public” in an effort to help others who’d been through the same thing, I was hesitant.

I didn’t know how people might take it, or mis-attribute any unfounded motivations. But he was determined to make it happen and asking me to help guide the conversation. I knew how important it would be to create a “safe container,” so I said yes.

The conversation that unfolded was incredibly raw, real, vulnerable and powerful on so many levels. He recently shared it with his community, and now I’m sharing it with you.

Check it out here or on iTunes now. – Jonathan Fields.” 

 

As always… Sending Light, Love, Laughter, Joy, Bliss, Overflowing Abundance, Happiness, Inner Peace, Endless Adventures, some SEXY Swag, and an EPIC Existence your way!!! xoxo, Morgan

Our society has a very interesting paradigm when it comes to “investing” in ourselves. We encourage our high school grads, ages 17-19 to take out massive amounts of debt to go to college right away, at an age where they aren’t even sure of who they are yet, what they want, or where they want life to take them. Yet they are supposed to declare what they will be doing for the rest of their life, and then spend 4-8+ years studying that thing?! To which they may and or may not ever even do that “thing” that they thought they might like to do?

I hear stories all the time of people going all the way through Law School and or Medical School only to find out that once they start DOING that thing that they’ve been studying for 7 to 8+ years, that it wasn’t what they thought it would be and they are left stuck with no idea of what they want to do next. For some, they just stay in it because of all of the time and money already spent and invested in that thing, so they figure “why bother” and then spend the rest of their existence doing something that they don’t even like doing. Imagine all of that TIME and MONEY that they invested, and for what? To find out that they didn’t like that “thing”.

Yet when I first decided to finally quit a job that I spent 40+ hours a week at – that was no longer feeding my soul, and was withering it away slowly but surely every single moment of every single day, since I had found the thing that I felt called to do, the thing that makes me feel more ALIVE, fulfilled, and overwhelmed with a sense of purpose – I was met with SO much societal resistance. The thought of investing my “hard earned savings” to take a “risk” – a leap of faith, and explore this thing that I had uncovered, that I KNEW beyond a shadow of a doubt was THE thing that I was put here to do, and that the time to do it was NOW – was so incredibly foreign according to some kind of agreed upon universal societal standard that people couldn’t even begin to wrap their head around understanding what could possibly be going through my wild and crazy imaginative head.

I had already dipped my toe in, had explored it, had made sure that it was THE thing for me, and yet so many people were absolutely appalled at my decision and or completely worried sick for me (even my own parents), and baffled that I would give up an incredibly lucrative position with an overwhelming abundance of perks and benefits, a position of certainty, and a future that was secure and comfortable for the next 30+ years. Never mind that it was killing me slowly to not be doing the thing that I felt called to do. Never mind that I had saved enough money to get me through the launch of a business and carry me through the time it would take to build my empire. Never mind that I was completely comfortable with MY decision, and that the same uncertainties about the future that everyone else seemed to perceive as “risky” I perceived as an “Epic Adventure” leaving me feeling invigorated, electric, and ALIVE.

The way I look at it, I was investing my money and enrolling in the University of Me. The University of Me, at a time in my life where I knew exactly who I was, who I wanted to be, where I wanted to go, and what I wanted to do – To play, to travel, to learn, to grow, to explore, to experience all that life has to offer, to master my craft, to build an empire, to be free, to be happy, to be ALIVE, to LIVE my life every single day to the fullest, and to use my gifts to help others come alive.

 And yet by some kind of societal standard, this was “insane”. This was “risky”. This was crazy. This was met with a ton of “you can’t be serious”, and “have you really thought about this”, and “why would you blow through your savings like this, this isn’t what savings are for…”, along with an arsenal of fear based objections that started with “but… what if…”.

And here is the thing. I am not saying not to go to school. So if you are already riding that hate train you can slow your roll. I am merely saying, who is anyone else to ever define how YOU spend YOUR money or your time and what YOU deem to be a solid investment? Who is anyone else to define for YOU what YOUR definition is of what your “savings” should be spent on? Do what YOU want. This is YOUR life last time I checked. If I had continued to live my life for everyone else, (which trust me I have spent a LOT of time doing that in this lifetime), I would have continued to stay at a job that no longer served me, which wouldn’t have been doing myself or my employer any favors. I would have continued to ignore my souls desire. I would have continued living a lie. Living a life that was empty and unfulfilling.

Most importantly it’s what I would NOT have been doing – THAT is what makes the biggest difference here. I would NOT have been living my life to the fullest every day. I would not have been doing the one thing that I was put here on this earth to do. I would not be filled with an overwhelming sense of purpose and fulfillment every single day. I would NOT be sharing my light with the world. It would be an injustice to myself and the world had I continued to live a live defined by other’s standards and expectations, instead of standing up and deciding to finally just be me. Unapologetically me

I was watching a movie recently (one of those super sappy love movies that I LOVE to watch by myself and cry like a big baby and I’m always left feeling so much more open to loving full out at the conclusion of said move) and the main characters were both cancer patients with an indefinite time to live. It got me thinking… Why is it that our society encourages us to start living when we are running out of time?

Yet it is totally acceptable to spend 40+ hours a week doing something you don’t love?  To use your minimalist paid time off to LIVE it up and experience life?  Here in the US that could be condensed to 2 short weeks, possibly even scattered throughout the year with mere days and glimpses at a time of experiencing LIFE and feeling ALIVE?

We wait until we are forced to make time matter, to live it up, to experience life and all that it has to offer. Only then, when we are forced to, in the face of loss and impending death of our loved ones or ourselves, do we become fearless, fierce, and free.  Free from the mundane worries and the BS fear tactics that keep us confined to living the same boring day over and over and over for all of our existence.

It’s like there is some kind of societal agreement of an openly and widely accepted life of living in a full-blown state of mediocrity. Being consumed by inconsequential BS.  Allowing others to prioritize what is important to us, to determine how we define things in life, what we should do, what we shouldn’t do, what we can do, what we cant do, how we should spend our time, how we should spend our money, and the endless list of ways goes on and on…

To this – I say NO. No more.  Not a second more of it.  I’m done.

And so, I tell society to take your shoulds and cants and stick them where the sun doesn’t shine.  I will be busy – Loving. Living. Experimenting. Trying.  Failing. Making mistakes. Risking it all. Letting go. Breaking through barriers.  Defying perceived limitations.  Thriving. Feeling ALIVE!

In the words of Taylor Swift – “The haters gonna hate… Shake it off!”  There will always be people who hate on what you are doing.  No matter what it is that you do.  As long as you are living a life concerned by what others think, you will never truly experience what it is to be ALIVE.

Just do YOU.

Would love to hear your thoughts and insights below! 🙂

Xoxo,

Morgan

 

Self Trust Ralph Waldo Emerson

It Starts With You.

It’s interesting how easy it is for us to come up with a list of things that we would like other people in our lives to change, or give more of, or be more of. However, often we find that we expect of others what we aren’t already giving to ourselves.

Take for example – follow through on promises made. It’s often something that ruins relationships and can even lead to you ending things and moving forward to find someone else who is more reliable. Not following through damages trust within the relationship. Yet when we take a look at ourselves, how often are we following through on the promises that we make to ourselves? If we don’t trust ourselves to keep a promise to ourselves, then how can we ever expect to trust anyone else? Would you respect someone you can’t trust? No. And if you don’t trust yourself, then you don’t respect yourself. How can you ever expect for someone else to respect you if you don’t respect yourself first?

If you follow my blog and you read the entry where I shared where I used to be back when I was stuck in my own hamster wheel of hell, where I was nowhere to be found on my own priority list, you might wonder how it is that I have come to be the who that I am today. The very first step on my journey was building a relationship with myself. Actually launching this new relationship was such a foreign concept to me that it was incredibly difficult at the very beginning.

I started with something as simple as painting my nails, and making a promise to myself that I would always keep them nice and pretty because that was one small thing that made me feel better. Every time I’d look down at my nails and see that they were chipped and in need of a little love, it was my dummy light for me to go back to focusing on me. (Like the check engine light coming on when the car needs maintenance, but these dummy lights are on your own dashboard of lights to help you stay on your own path to the optimal you!)

After a while I had the nails thing down, and was ready to add another thing to the list. I started picking out my outfits the night before work because even though there was no possible way in hell anyone around me would have had a clue at that time, I actually loved dressing up, I liked the way it made me feel!

Then once I got the hang of things I was ready to tackle a bigger project that I had been promising myself for years to do, but hadn’t made it (or me) a priority – Turning my condo into a sanctuary. Today when I come home, it’s me place of serenity, and it’s a reminder of how far I’ve come, and it’s so nice to have beauty surround me, it makes me feel at peace.

One thing turned into another thing, which turned into another, and then snowballed to large projects, and taking classes I had been wanting to take for years (Improv), and signing up to get certified as a Yoga teacher, taking a nutrition course, getting certified as a life coach, etc.

The point is – First seek within.

You are the creator of your own life. Stop waiting for someone to come around and give you what you aren’t even giving to yourself.

The first step to working on a relationship with yourself is to build more more self-trust. Think about what you’ve been promising yourself for a while but haven’t been following through on (for example – do you have a pile of laundry that you’ve been telling yourself that you’ll do but it’s still sitting there, or maybe it’s a clean pile of laundry and you’ve been meaning to put it away but haven’t gotten around to it, or you’ve been wanting to take a particular class for a while now but haven’t signed up yet, or you’ve been dreaming about going to a particular vacation destination for a long time but haven’t gone yet, etc.), or think of things that you would like to start doing for yourself and are willing to commit to in an effort to become the you that you want to be! (Like working towards a healthier lifestyle so that you can feel absolutely amazing in your own skin, or redecorating your bedroom, or dressing up more at work, etc.)

1. Write a list of these things

2. Pick one

3. Schedule it

4. DO IT.

Every new day was yesterday’s tomorrow. The I’ll do it “tomorrow”, or last weeks “next week I’ll do that” or last months “I’ll make time for that next month”, etc.

Make today the day. Do it NOW. That is how you build self-trust.

In an article written by MARGARITA TARTAKOVSKY, M.S., TITLED, 3 Ways to Develop Self-Trust, she states that “being kind to yourself increases self-confidence and lessens your need for approval. Loving and caring for yourself not only increases self-trust, it also deepens your connection with others.”

Shout out to one of my clients for a Self-Love and Pampering idea that I’ve been sharing with other clients and they are having a blast with – Write down a bunch of your own favorite self-love acts and self-pampering ideas on tiny pieces of paper – i.e. paint my nails, give myself a facial, schedule a massage, go for a long walk with my dog, get a pedicure, etc. and then put all of the ideas in a hat, and pull one out daily as a surprise gift to yourself each day. This adds an element and sense of adventure about your self-love and pampering! All the while you are building a stronger foundation of love and trust with yourself that will eventually lead to you being able to give and receive more love and trust to others!

Feel free to share ideas of what’s working for you so that we can all work together to spread the love!

Sending you all vibes of love, acceptance, intimacy, understanding, compassion, patience, bonding, and trust, all starting with your relationship with yourself first! 

Xoxoxo,

Morgan

PS – Here is the link to the article referenced – It’s a good read with more ideas of how to build a better relationship with yourself!  Happy Reading!
https://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/10/17/3-ways-to-develop-self-trust/

Frank the tank 2

Awareness Came, and Frank the Tank’s Jersey Was Retired….

I get a lot of weird looks when it comes up in conversation that I do not drink. The first thought that most people mention comes to their mind is how AA is going. Haha. They often feel very sorry for me because of all of the fun that they think I am missing out on. (Which couldn’t be farther from my own truth and experience.)

One of the reasons I quit was that I started to realize that I was an entirely different person when drinking. If I was in a relationship I would dump out all of my feeling and issues with that person in a way that replicated a bomb exploding, and then I’d wake up the next day and have to figure out some way to repair the damage that was done. It would be like my alter ego “Frank the Tank” came out to play, wreaked havoc all night long, having an absolute blast with no cares in the world, gave everyone a piece of his mind, and then left me to clean it all up then next day. This happened over and over and over again until after the umpteenth millionth time I decided to retire his jersey and sit his ass on the sidelines for a permanent time out.

I didn’t even realize the extent of how much I used drinking as a coping outlet and or avoidance resource until I went on a 1 year no drinking commitment. HOLY CRAP, what a life changing eye opener.

For me, without removing the crutch, the avoidance barrier, and the ineffective coping tool, I realized that I would never find and maintain a healthy loving and long term relationship, I would never work through the issues laying underneath the surface, and I would continue to be a version of me that I no longer wanted to be. I wanted to find my most authentic self and actually deal with things instead of using drinking as a crutch, especially in social and or dating situations. It was a very eye opening experience for me, and now I am the most open and authentic version of myself that I have ever been!

A friend recently shared a John Lennon quote with me that sums up how drinking was for me… “The basic thing nobody asks is why do people take drugs of any sort?’… ‘Why do we have these accessories to normal living to live. I mean, is there something wrong with society that’s making us so pressurized, that we cannot live without guarding ourselves against it?” And the answer to that for me was a big huge HELL YES! It is hard as hell to actually face demons, and deal with your own shit. And alcohol for me, was my way of avoiding having to deal. Which made it impossible to be authentic and to be my most optimal version of me because I was so busy avoiding myself and the life around me.

This has been the week from hell… If I still drank it would definitely be one of those weeks where I just raged out! But nooooo, with my decision to quit drinking, has come the responsibility to actually face the shitstorms that come my way and figure out how to navigate through it. Sometimes I curse this strength and awareness I have within – hahaha – Just kidding! It truly is the best gift ever as it removes avoidance supplements and techniques from my life, removes excuses from my conversations, and removes placing blame on others for my own feelings, mistakes, etc. That makes life especially difficult to navigate when others have not removed said things from their own life, and especially when others excuses are rampant, and blaming is directed towards you. Sigh. I still stand by my own decision to remove something that no longer served me on my own journey, and for me it was hands down one of the best decisions I have ever made.

To be clear, this is NOT a blog post about why drinking is bad. It impacts everyone very differently. For some people drinking doesn’t change them the way it changed me. For some people it isn’t a crutch in social situations and or relationships like I uncovered it was for me. For some people it doesn’t wreak havoc that they have to figure out how to clean up the next day. For some people it isn’t an avoidance supplement that they use to not have to deal with feelings like sadness, pain, hurt, suffering, etc. etc. etc. The real intention of this post is to explore what in your own life are your crutches? Or the things that you are using as a way to avoid feelings?

What in your own life is no longer serving you? What is holding you back from really growing as a person and becoming the you that you want to be?

Sending you vibes of peace, serenity, humility, laughter, strength, awareness, and anything else you need along your own journey to your desired self!

Xoxoxo

Morgan

Awareness Around The Blame Game…

How often in a day do you place blame externally for not being the who that you want to be, or not having the things that you want out of life, or not being where you want to be in life, or not being able to make the choices you would like to make, or not being happy enough, or not being able to live up to your fullest potential because of (insert all of your blame game excuses)….

This exact notion was something that one of my clients just started to explore in her own life, and I’m not going to lie, this shit is super heavy to finally realize that YOU have control over your own life, you have the ability to choose what you think, how you act, what you do every day, what job you have or don’t have, etc. It can also be quite empowering and completely change your life if you can get over your own arrogance and ego and embrace it.

Life isn’t about blame or fault, it’s about choice and accepting your own responsibility in the creation and existence of all things in your own life.

It isn’t about your past, your childhood, your family, your job, your partner, your boss, your co-workers, your financial limitations, your friends, etc. These are all just blaming externally what you are not owning internally.

Recently, as I have been becoming more and more aware of this “blame game” I’ve been playing quite masterfully in my own life, I have decided to walk the talk, stop pointing the finger externally, and start making new choices that put me in the driver’s seat of my own life and my own destiny.

For example, I used to be heavy into the acting scene when I was younger. It truly fed my soul and opened the flood gates of passion, creativity, playfulness, humor, etc. inside of me. When I got into high school I became less and less involved until eventually I completely shut off that outlet of expression. Why? I have no idea. I think I did a great job of blaming externally – my grandmother died, it didn’t seem that acting was as socially acceptable as it was when I was younger, I was afraid of getting on stage and making a mistake which would lead to the demise of the star that I once was, etc. But I can tell you the one person that I did NOT ever blame… and it’s the one person that had all of the control in the world, and the ONLY person that could make a difference and could choose to reengage with this long lost love of mine…. was… ME!

Recently I started taking improv classes. What started as a way to bond with my mother and to get rid of nerves when doing public speaking, has spawned into a whole process that is actually teaching me a lot about not taking myself or life too seriously, letting go of expectations, living more in the moment, taking pause and allowing myself time to think before I respond, and getting to witness my mother’s transformation as well! Also I have found a new group of people that have the same passions for performing as I once did when I was younger, and it’s reignited something inside of me that I am so much enjoying the exploration of! What started as a 6 week journey has turned into a long road ahead that will be 30 weeks long, filled with improv, performing, writing sketches, and doing parody comedy videos with this new group of people that I’ve found so far along the journey. Can’t wait to see what else is in store for me on this path!

Here is the first video that we did! More to come! 

It is so much easier to be stuck and lost in a world of mediocrity, when you master the art of the “Blame Game” for where you are at in life and for all of the things that you are unhappy about and unfulfilled by.

How would your life be different if you accepted the responsibility of your own actions or lack thereof in life?

Then what might happen if you actually did something about it to work towards a life of true authenticity and fulfillment?

For me, one small step in the direction of accepting the responsibility of creation and happiness in my own life has created an amazing ripple effect of passion, creativity, intuition, playfulness, and alignment with my own authenticity.

What will be your first step?

What if you put the “Death bed filter” onto your Awareness Radar? Hmmm…..

 

How often do you do things that you don’t actually want to do?  How much time do you waste beating yourself up?  How much time do you spend thinking about what others might be thinking about whatever decisions you’ve made and/or you are about to make?

 

Whose voice is strongest in your mind?  Your own desires, wants, dislikes?  Or everyone else’s?  (Your parents, coworkers, friends, strangers, etc. ) 

 

What if you looked at life through the lens of what will really matter to you on death’s doorstep

 

As you go throughout your day you will inevitably encounter obstacles that challenge you on your path to greatness, triggers that ignite the flames inside you, buttons that push you at the core and catapult you into a state of anxiety, fear, anger, sadness, rejection, etc.

 

How would your life be different if, in the moment where you face obstacles and experience the things that trigger you or push your buttons, in the moments where you are busy focusing on what everyone else thinks, if you just hit the pause button for a moment and used what I call the ‘Deathbed Filter’ –  “Is this something that I will think about on my death bed?”  For example, you are running late for something and you are getting yourself all worked up.  Worried about what others might think of you if you are a few minutes late.  Worried about the judgments they may make, or how upset they may be with you, etc.  What if you stopped dead in your reactionary tracks and thought to yourself, “is this something that I would even think about on my deathbed?” If the answer is no, then ask yourself “why is this something that I would even expend energy on right now in this very precious moment of my life?”

 

AND…

 

What if you are exercising the Deathbed Filter in a given situation and the answer was “YES, this is something that on my deathbed I will look back on and have regrets if I don’t really go for this!” 

 

For example, you may regret – not spending more time with your loved ones, not being courageous enough to be vulnerable with someone else and let love in, not telling your loved ones what they really mean to you, and/or you may regret that you let a relationship fail because that was the easiest thing to do rather than face the pain and heartache of the possible rejection years down the line when you were truly invested mind body and soul and you regret that you just gave up and walked away, or you may regret not starting the business you always wanted to start, or you may regret spending a lifetime in a job that didn’t satiate the inner depths of your soul, etc.

 

There is an article about the top 5 regrets of the dying which can be found at – https://www.collective-evolution.com/2013/04/27/the-top-5-regrets-of-the-dying/#sthash.lXAU7y3H.dpuf

 

It outlines the following –

“Top 5 Regrets of the Dying:

  1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
  2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
  3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
  5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.”

 

The author, Joe Martino, mentions that “it’s important to remember that whatever stage we are at in life, there is no need for regret. The process of regret is one that provides nothing but suffering for ourselves as we begin to allow the past to dictate how we should feel now. Instead, we can use the past as a reference point to understand what adjustments we would like to make moving forward. The adjustments do not have to come out of pain, sorrow, regret or judgment, but simply a choice to do things in a different way.”

 

So, how would your life be different if you were to channel your energy into actually focusing on working toward a solution to really go for it?!  How would life be different if you let go of the past and took control of your future?  How would you feel different?  How would your life look different than it is now?  How would life be different for you if you constantly thought to yourself, “what knowledge can I seek out for possible solutions to the issues at hand?”, “What books can I read on the topic?”, “Who can I reach out to for support to work through this?” etc.

 

When you are about to throw in the towel on something, or you push something important off to do it “tomorrow” and “tomorrow never seems to come, how would life be different if you first exercised the death bed filter, and then asked yourself, “Have I really done every single thing in my power and control to really go for it?”  And if the answer is no, then ask yourself “why am I allowing myself to choose to have regrets on my deathbed?”

 

I’m sending you all vibes of serenity in your journeys, the courage to really go for the things that you will regret if you don’t take relentless action to achieve, and the strength to let go of the little things that don’t really matter to you in the grand spectrum of things.  You are the masters and creators of your own reality, what will you choose to create?

 

Xoxoxo,

Morgan

Awareness Meets Resistance…

 

I wrote this for one of my clients recently who was facing resistance when initially launching into her journey of self-exploration and awareness.  Resistance from one’s self is such a common thing you will be faced with when you embark upon finding your true authentic self, that I figured I would share this with each of you so that it may help you build the momentum to launch your own journey and catapult you to higher heights than you ever thought imaginable!

 

…….

 

 

There is a quote in Steven Pressfield’s book Do the Work that discusses just how common resistance is and how it operates:

“Rule of thumb: The more important a call to action is to our soul’s evolution, the more resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.”

 

It’s normal in the beginning of the self-exploration journey to face these typical resistance blocks daily that really stop you in your tracks, that leave you feeling helpless, and that prevent you from feeling as if you are overcoming your blocks and moving closer to your ideal you at the pace that you would like. I would hate to see you give up on yourself or the process, when what you are facing is in fact quite normal and it’s merely your lifetimes worth of programming and default settings that are holding you back from your ideal self. Everyone who enters into their own journey to find one’s self experiences this at the beginning, and even throughout the journey, it is completely normal that you will feel this way.

There is a quote by W.H. Murray that talks about the resistance you will face when you are on the journey to greatness and you have not yet given yourself the gift of fully committing to the process:

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets: ‘Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it’. Begin it now.”

 

Whoever you work with along the path of your journey it will be in your best interest to commit fully to the process upfront, so that you can give yourself full permission to actually commit to the journey abundantly, be fully engaged to it, and be gentle with yourself as you encounter the typical blocks that come up along the way. The good news is that it does get easier, and 3 months from now you will be able to see the process and benefits much more clearly. The process of reprogramming takes a lot of work, and I am not going to lie, it is hard especially in the beginning. No matter what route you take to make the change you will face resistance from yourself, which is totally normal. Through guidance, time, consistency, and repetition you will overcome these blocks that are in your way.

 

Here are a few things to ask yourself that might help you to explore what is really going on and where you would like to go –

(Feel free to write these questions down and take some time to explore each one individually, or just take some time to reflect on each one as you read through.)

– What was your original motivation to start this process in the first place?

– Where would you like to be in three months time?

o In 6 months time?

o In 1 Year?

o In 5 Years?

– How do these visions differ than the who that you are today?

– How well is what you are currently doing going to get you there?

– How willing are you to fully commit to the process of getting where you want to be?

– How willing are you to face the blocks full on that are getting in your way of you being the who that you want to be?

– How willing are you to embark on the journey ahead of the consistent attempts and inevitable fails in overcoming your blocks and to be fully committed and engaged anyway?

– What are you willing to sacrifice to become your ideal you?

– How far are you willing to step outside of your comfort zone and default settings to reprogram yourself to be the you that you want to be and leave behind the old programming that no longer serves you?

– Are you willing to fight through your lifetimes worth of current programming in order to come out on the other end to see what is waiting for you there?

– How committed are you?

o To yourself?

o To your development?

o To the process to get there, no matter how hard is may be at times?

o To being gentle with yourself along the way, and trusting that the process takes time, requires consistency and repetition, and is full of attempts and failures,?

 

At the end of the day the only person that knows what is truly best for you is you. Trust your gut and intuition, and it will guide you to the path that you need to be on.

 

Sending you vibes of love, health, success, strength, and joy along your path!

Xoxoxo,

WHAAAT? !!  Awareness brings…MELTDOWNs??!!!

 

That is right ladies and gentleman… there is no perfection, and infinite peace through the process of awareness or any other process out there.

 

No matter how self-aware we are, no matter how much we grow and expand as individuals, and no matter how many steps closer we get to being  the who that we want to be, we all have old programming that creeps in and kick our asses royally.  Take me for example… I was having a magnificent week, an amazing start of the year, months of progress, love, joy, bliss, and nothing but metaphorical rainbows and sunshine in the forecast of my life, and then out of absolutely nowhere… MELTDOWN!!!  Imagine a 2 year old, who is so overcome with and so consumed by their emotion that their entire body becomes a part of the meltdown process!  OH and the TEARS??!  They just kept on coming.  That’s right.  Me.  The one who lives and dies by the process of awareness to bring me abundance in all of the things that I desire.  I help others increase their energy levels and find their way to the who that they want to be and help them actualize their dreams.  Me.  A 2 year old with a one way ticket to the terrible 2 meltdownville party.  It wasn’t a pretty sight.

 

But why was I in meltdownville?  That is a GREAT question!  I tried and tried and tried to make sense of these crazy emotions I was feeling.  As it turns out, I am still not 100% sure WHY I was feeling that way, but what I do know is that feelings are not right or wrong, they just are what they are, which are just things you feel.  So I honored the feelings, explored the possibilities of why I was feeling them, assessed what pieces were coming from old programming, and then started focusing on the solution.  Also I created healthy boundaries that could prevent the repeat visit to temper-tantrum-land.  Then I waited for the delayed train back to peacetown to come and get me.  It finally arrived to pick me up.  PHEW!

 

Meltdowns?  Crazy irrational feelings?  It happens!  No one is perfect!  (Unless you have friends that ride a unicorn to work, then you might have a case for perfection… but to my disappointment I have yet to find them no matter how hard I try!)

 

Sometimes meltdowns occur BECAUSE of the awareness process!  It can be overwhelming at first.  It brings up a lot.  It is frustrating to want to change something and still be so stuck in your old engrained habits of the old programming.  It takes time to reprogram!  The frustration you will feel is a good sign that you are on the right path.  It’s a signal that you are done with your old ways, and ready to make the change. 

 

The goal is to focus on experiencing the things you want on a more consistent basis every single day.  If today you spent one extra minute being the who that you are striving to be, or you spent one extra second feeling things you’ve been desiring to feel, or one more positive thought pops into your head today then you experienced yesterday, then you are making progress and that is something to celebrate!

 

 

But let’s face it… Everyone has their days!  So try not to be too hard on yourself during those times! 

 

Enjoy the journey!!! J

 

Xoxoxo

 

Morgan