The following is being shared in an effort to help you unlock the possibilities and potential of change in your own life in whatever ways you desire.  No matter who you are, no matter where you are at in your life, no matter what has happened in your past, you can reinvent yourself.

 

First Came Awareness, Then Came Choice, Then Came Abundance in All Things

 

It’s always after people get to know me and hear my stories that they realize that I haven’t always been this version of “me” that they now see and know.   Most people tell me that they can’t imagine me any other way, and they just assumed that I have always been this way – healthy, happy, optimistic, in a very healthy and happy relationship with a man that is the lid to my pot, living out my dreams every day, fulfilled, have my values mapped out and aligned with my actions and choices in life, my head on straight, successful, passionate, etc.

 

Let me take a moment to introduce you to the who that I used to be…

 

4 years ago…

 

I rolled out of bed to go to work.  I took little to no pride to put myself together.  My nails were never painted, and in the rare occasion that they were they would often go weeks of being chipped and clearly telling the story that I hadn’t even realized was my own, which was “whatever, I totally don’t even care about myself…”

 

My master bedroom was a huge room that I was waiting to put a pool table in so that when others came over we could have a fun experience together shooting pool. In the interim I was using that room, the largest and most luxurious room in my condo, as a storage space for all of my junk that I hadn’t gone through and sorted out yet.  Where I actually set up my bedroom was my second room which was much smaller than the master.  I didn’t realize at that time just how much this all had to do with how I valued myself (or lack thereof).  I also didn’t realize at the time just how much I prioritized others wants, desires, and needs above my own, which was made clear by wanting to use the master suite to put a pool table for others to enjoy when they came over. 

 

The game plan from day one of purchasing the condo was to renovate my kitchen and I even had the money to do so, but little did I know that it would be years until I finally embarked on the renovation journey.  I went years with a kitchen that was god awful, and I absolutely couldn’t stand every single time I walked into it.  (It’s important to note that this was also the first room you saw when you walked into the place, so you can imagine my feelings every single time I approached my door and walked in.)

 

I didn’t enjoy my house in the least.  There were big dreams to be had for the place and zero action taken to make those dreams to fruition.  (This was fitting as it was the metaphor for my life.)

 

I drank every single weekend, (maybe even daily).  I drank to celebrate, I drank to forget, I drank to release stress, I drank to cope with feelings, I drank to let loose and have fun, I drank to socialize, I drank to network, I drank to entertain clients, I drank to confront others with my feelings, I drank to numb my feelings, etc.  I spent the nights having fun (from what I could remember anyways) and then the next day eating junk food to absorb what was still in my system  and I would waste the day away on a couch sleeping and watching TV.

 

I was always tired, stressed out so far beyond even caring any longer, literally rolled out of bed in just enough time to grab clothes that semi matched and then half ass do my hair and makeup and head wherever it was I happened to be going that day.

 

I was always too busy to hang out with or take calls from my family, and my life was utterly and relentlessly consumed by work.   I remember once being in the office until 12AM on a Friday night.  I was so consumed by my perfectionist tendencies and completing the commitments on my plate (that I should have said no to but didn’t know how to) and that I didn’t have enough hours in the day for.  I scarified sleep, sanity, health, happiness, relationships, etc.

                                                                         

The only guys on my dating radar were liars, cheaters, takers, selfish, and unbeknownst to me more often than not they were addicts of some shape or form.   (This all makes sense based on the principle that you attract what you yourself think that you are actually worth.  If you don’t love yourself and don’t take care of yourself, why would you expect anything else from a partner?)  In the rare occasion that a good man did come across my path, I was too unhealthy to even be attracted to him, and found some way to sabotage the realitionship.

 

It’s important to note that because I was such a zombie at this point in my life, I was completely and totally unaware of the vicious cycles of shit that surrounded me.

 

I was 15-20 pounds overweight, had dull skin, ate like crap, smoked like a chimney, and drank like a sailor.

 

When I was bored I wasted my time watching whatever junk I could find on TV.

 

I traveled a ton for work, more than most coworkers, looking back a piece of that was because hotels were nicer than my place.  I hadn’t turned my home into my serenity so I went out on the road looking for it anywhere but my own place. 

 

I didn’t have a good relationship with some of the family members that I most desired to have one with. 

 

I was forever in a state of being reactive, which often led to me personalizing every single little thing and left me at war against the world constantly!!

 

I didn’t even know what boundaries were, yet alone how to effectively use them to protect myself against others who prayed on the kindness of a person who never said no (no matter how much they wanted to deep inside) and the naivetés of a person who would believe pretty much anything you told them (mainly because I was such an honest person and couldn’t wrap my head around any benefits of lying so it was hard for me to understand and or believe that it could be so rampant for some).  The word “no” wasn’t a part of my vocabulary which meant I often took on more than I could do in the 24 hours a day that we each have, and I was also quite foolish, naive, and looking back now and laughing I was quite stupid when it came to some of the things I believed which constantly left me in a state of compromise in regards to my health, happiness, sanity, and even at times my physical safety.

 

I was a giver. Give give give and give even if I had no more give left inside of me. Most relationships ended because of the resentment I would feel after dating these selfish and toxic men that always took but never gave back.

 

Red was my favorite color, and I surrounded myself with it at home.  (I later learned that one of the associations with the color red is the feeling of anger, which was so representative of the state of mind I was in and how much time I spent in the familiarity and comfort of angers arms.)

 

I was sick almost every single week.  My immune system was practically non-existent.  My nails were beyond brittle.  My hair was falling out in massive clumps in the shower (which at the time I thought was normal) and my hair wouldn’t grow past a certain length no matter what I tried.

 

Then I broke.  It got to be too much.  I became of aware of what I had become, what was going on in my world that I had been too blind and numb to see.  Through the new found awareness came choice.  I realized I could choose to continue on my path, or choose to make a change. 

 

I chose change.

 

So I took time off and went on a customized solo spiritual journey in Sedona Arizona.  It was there that I was reborn and given new life.  It sparked what has now become an ongoing 4+ year journey of self-development, awareness, self-exploration, growth, therapy, life coaching, workshops, education, choices, etc. all in the pursuits of sustainable peace, happiness, joy, fulfillment, and love.  Now I look back at that girl I was and I am thankful for her, because without her I would never have been able to find the me that I am today, to truly appreciate and enjoy it, and to have a reference point of what could be if I had ever gotten off, or do ever at any point get off my path.

 

I reinvented my environment at home and created a world of peace and serenity to surround my every nook and corner.  It is now my haven.  I abandoned the idea of creating a haven for others in my own home, and moved my bedroom into the large master suite.  I now retreat there and am filled with love, warmth, joy, peace, gratitude and serenity every single night before I count my blessings and go to bed.  My kitchen is completely remodeled and has spawned the desire to be healthier and get creative with cooking!  My second bedroom has been turned into one big walk in closet that I now use to take time and pride every morning to get ready to face the day looking fierce, fit, and fabulous!

 

My nails are always painted, and in the rare occasion that they are not, or are chipped, I use it as a dummy signal that I am straying from my path of self-love and self-care which is at the center of my health, sanity, happiness, success, and peace.

 

I lost 20 pounds, am down 2 sizes, quit smoking, quit drinking, explored my values and what is really important to me, spend more time with my loved ones, reprioritized my life and how I spend my time and expend my energy, I have decreased my stress levels significantly, and have learned to tune into my dreams and turn them into my reality.

 

I have found love with a very emotionally healthy and loving man who is the best partner and team mate I could have ever even imagined or dreamed of.  He is everything that I never even knew I wanted and needed in a relationship.

 

First I found the awareness.  I started with focusing on what I can control, which is me.  I then had a choice to make.  I chose change.

 

No matter who you are, no matter where you are at in your life, no matter what has happened in your past, you can reinvent yourself starting now. 

 

What do you choose?

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL! 😀

In the spirit of the new year, and the NEW YOU, instead of doing the traditional new year’s resolution where you focus on what you would like to quit doing, do less of, cut out altogether, etc. what if you tried something different this year?

What if you just wrote a list of all of the things you would like to do this year?  New places you would like to travel to, new experiences you would like to have, new skills you would like to learn, etc.  Why not create a one year, 2014 bucket list, which gives you a deadline of 1 year for you to fulfill your desires, instead of an ambiguous deadline of “before you die”, which is what the traditional bucket list gives life to.

Creating a list that brings to your awareness the things you WANT to do this year – The things that feed your soul – The things that MOVE you

How would that change your year? 

How would that change your dreams? 

How would that change your attitude on life?

How would that change the way that you spend your time?

How would that change the way that you exert your energy?

How you show up in your life every day?

How would that help move you forward toward your goals?

Who would you spend more time with?

Who would you spend less time with?

What would you spend less time doing?

What would you spend more time doing?

 

I’ll share with you an example to help bring this more to life for you and help you see the possibilities…

 

I did this for 2013, and are just a few examples of what happened….

This was the year of love, family, fun, health, adventure, personal development, growth, and connection for me! Here is just a little snippet of the jam packed year of 2013….

2013 bucket list item – Get Authentically Connected!

This year, in an effort to make more authentic connections, I got off Facebook for an entire year, and started instead to travel to see loved ones face to face!  I had the most amazing blessings this year in being able to go to the east coast several times to get some good old quality time with the fam that resides there! I was also able to host my cousin here in the burbs of Chicago, and it was SUCH a pleasure and JOY to get to spend time with her, her amazing husband and her little angel of a nugget!

It has been such a true joy and honor to be able to create new life experiences with my family that in years past we had been in the pattern of only seeing each other on an annual basis if and when weddings happened. How fun it has been to grow relationships with the spouses of loved ones, and also the little blessings that are their children. I plan to continue this new more connected pattern as we move into the years to come.

2013 Bucket List Item – The World is Your Playground, Get Out there and PLAY!

On top of the business travel I do where I could be in any given state at any given time, I decided to expand the range of travels and experiences.  This year I went London, Paris, Barcelona, and Rome. Oh, what fun!!!

2013 Bucket List Item – Make “HEALTHY” a Full Time Lifestyle

In the past year I quit smoking, quit drinking, cut out all of the foods that are highly processed, and through this journey to health I found out that I was allergic to a TON of foods, so I cut those out too!  (More to come on this topic in 2014.  This journey has been life altering and I look forward to sharing it with all of you!)

2013 Bucket List Items – Self Mastery Focus – Become a Better Public Speaker – (aka, Conquer my Nerves) – and Spend More Time with Loved Ones

I signed up for Improvisation classes at Second City here in Chicago. As a Christmas gift, I bought my mom classes too.  Check, and check!

2013 Bucket List Items – Spend More Time with Loved Ones

I realized that there was always something that came up that kept me too busy to do the things that really mattered to me in life, things like my number one value in life which is family.  So, through the awareness of this, I was able to choose a different course of action for myself, and we are now back on track! My dad and I have resumed our weekly daddy / daughter date nights.

2013 Bucket List Items – Be Vulnerable, Explore my Defective Programming in the Relationship Area of my Life and Reprogram Accordingly, and Seek Out and Sustain HEALTHY Relationships

This year, I met my wonderful boyfriend on eHarmony. (This was inspired by spending time with my cousin and his awesome wife who met on there as well and have a relationship that I truly look up to.) My boyfriend spent his birthday with my whole East Coast family for my Aunt and Uncle’s 40th wedding anniversary party.  (My family is full of these long term loving relationships, and I plan to follow in the footsteps of the generations before me.)  Today marks 7 months for us, and I could not be more fulfilled.  This healthy relationship would not have been possible had I not first gone on the journey to figure out where I had defective programming that was no longer serving me and then reprogrammed it.  It was a LONG and HARD journey, but it was all worth it!  (Oh man, you should have seen the gems that I dated before I reprogrammed!)

2013 Bucket List Item – Create and Share New Experiences for the Loved Ones Around Me

This year I took my brother on a NASCAR experience where we were able to drive around a NASCAR track in one of the professional cars. When we got the results back after our experience it turned out that he went about a half of a half of a mile per hour faster than me and I haven’t heard the end of that. The good news though is that now after 13 years of me trying to convince him to join me on a skydiving adventure, he has finally accepted the offer so stay tuned!!! While we were there at the NASCAR race track, I bought my mother a “ride-along”, where she was able to go around the race track as a professional driver was behind the wheel taking her for a speedy ride! She was excited until she found out that the doors didn’t open and she had to go in and out of the window…. Good times to be had by all!

2013 Bucket List Item – Do What Feeds my Soul, and Pursue My Passions and Callings

Finally, I started my own business this year. I still am working full-time with the company I have been with for 6 + years, but I am building my business as well where I do Life Coaching to help people uncover their goals, identify the areas they are stuck, and then create a plan to help them move forward and become their best ideal version of themselves where they achieve and exceed their wildest dreams!

There were things on my list that I didn’t get a chance to get to in 2013. Want to know the beauty in that?  I can put those on the list for 2014!

Can’t wait to see what 2014 has in store for me and for all of you!!!  

What are the things on your bucket list for 2014?  Feel free to share!  Sharing them with others increases your probabilities of success!

Xoxoxo

Love, peace, joy, and happiness to all!

Morgan

 

Awareness paves the way for choice, which creates the waves of action, which forever alters the DNA of your being and allows you to walk in the light of the best version of you with full sustainability.  Here is wishing you the awareness that you desire so that you can have an overabundance of love, laughter, joy, peace, health, success, wealth, prosperity, fulfillment, and achievement of dreams that stretch far beyond your imagination.

The intention of this site is to help you take a look at your current programming – Look at what it is, how it got there, and explore what is holding you back from being the “who” that you really want to be.  Essentially, the path ahead is to reprogram the software that no longer serves you and reprogram accordingly to a new healthy you (mind, body, AND soul) to get you where you want to be.

Who am I?  I have my own business as a Life Coach working one on one with clients to help them overcome the blocks that are in their way to achieving their dreams, I’m a Yoga Instructor, Health and Wellness coach, and on top of all of that I work a full time 9-5 sales job in the ever complex world of a “corporate career”.  I have committed to and dedicated over 750 hours to training, education, and certifications.  Over the course of the journey ahead, I will share my journey with you of where I used to be, where I am today, and how I got there, and I will also share with you different ways of how you can get where you would like to be!

Looking forward to it!!! Happy New Year to each and every one of you!!!  xoxoxo

 

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