WHAAAT? !! Awareness brings…MELTDOWNs??!!!
That is right ladies and gentleman… there is no perfection, and infinite peace through the process of awareness or any other process out there.
No matter how self-aware we are, no matter how much we grow and expand as individuals, and no matter how many steps closer we get to being the who that we want to be, we all have old programming that creeps in and kick our asses royally. Take me for example… I was having a magnificent week, an amazing start of the year, months of progress, love, joy, bliss, and nothing but metaphorical rainbows and sunshine in the forecast of my life, and then out of absolutely nowhere… MELTDOWN!!! Imagine a 2 year old, who is so overcome with and so consumed by their emotion that their entire body becomes a part of the meltdown process! OH and the TEARS??! They just kept on coming. That’s right. Me. The one who lives and dies by the process of awareness to bring me abundance in all of the things that I desire. I help others increase their energy levels and find their way to the who that they want to be and help them actualize their dreams. Me. A 2 year old with a one way ticket to the terrible 2 meltdownville party. It wasn’t a pretty sight.
But why was I in meltdownville? That is a GREAT question! I tried and tried and tried to make sense of these crazy emotions I was feeling. As it turns out, I am still not 100% sure WHY I was feeling that way, but what I do know is that feelings are not right or wrong, they just are what they are, which are just things you feel. So I honored the feelings, explored the possibilities of why I was feeling them, assessed what pieces were coming from old programming, and then started focusing on the solution. Also I created healthy boundaries that could prevent the repeat visit to temper-tantrum-land. Then I waited for the delayed train back to peacetown to come and get me. It finally arrived to pick me up. PHEW!
Meltdowns? Crazy irrational feelings? It happens! No one is perfect! (Unless you have friends that ride a unicorn to work, then you might have a case for perfection… but to my disappointment I have yet to find them no matter how hard I try!)
Sometimes meltdowns occur BECAUSE of the awareness process! It can be overwhelming at first. It brings up a lot. It is frustrating to want to change something and still be so stuck in your old engrained habits of the old programming. It takes time to reprogram! The frustration you will feel is a good sign that you are on the right path. It’s a signal that you are done with your old ways, and ready to make the change.
The goal is to focus on experiencing the things you want on a more consistent basis every single day. If today you spent one extra minute being the who that you are striving to be, or you spent one extra second feeling things you’ve been desiring to feel, or one more positive thought pops into your head today then you experienced yesterday, then you are making progress and that is something to celebrate!
But let’s face it… Everyone has their days! So try not to be too hard on yourself during those times!
Enjoy the journey!!! J