Fair warning – you may cry… I did!!! The next time that life has you consumed in darkness… read this post. Copy it, save it, and re-read it over and over. This woman is a fierce soul who CHOOSES a VERY powerful paradigm of which to view life through. Next time you are consumed in darkness, ask yourself “What is a more empowering paradigm that I can choose to view life through in this moment?” and then try that on for size. And if you need to borrow some ideas of strength… just read this epic sexy souls story…..
“Happy St. Patrick’s day to all!!
This day marks an anniversary for me. 4 years ago today I got the official news that I would have to fight for my life that I felt had only just begun. My beautiful Inara had just turned 1 in February. We had a wedding to plan and set a date for, a place of our own to look for and things were coming together. But life seems to always be keeping me on my toes. On this day 4 years ago I was officially told that the lump on the side of my neck was not a painless swollen tonsil and unfortunately all the weight I thought was just falling off of me was not because I had been chasing around a very active 1year old every day. The night sweats that soaked the sheets and bed every night was not because it was way too hot in the bedroom at night and I was not becoming addicted and unable to function with out coffee every hour just to stay awake because life was just crazy busy. All this was the result of my body, being the amazing machine that it is, using everything that it had to fight and get rid of this cancer. Hodgkins Lymphoma stage 2b is what I was officially diagnosed with.
I bet you’re wondering why I would celebrate the day that I was told I would have to fight for my life and fight pretty damn hard for? Well I like to think that this marks the day that the battle that I conquered had begun. Unknowingly to me, my warrior training had really started on this day. My will to live life to the fullest, conquer anything that got in my way and truly appreciate all that life had to offer, was set in stone on this day. My precious Inara was counting on me to be there, it was my duty and the silent oath that I took on the day I found out I was going to be her mommy. Failure was not an option to me at this point, I would fight to the death for that beautiful little girl. I was tested though, In one of the worst ways possible.
Having a bone marrow test to make sure the cancer hadn’t spread to my bones had to of been scarier to me than giving birth. That wouldn’t stop me though.
My scalp being on fire from the follicles dying, my hair falling out and having to shave my head was another test I think. Especially being a cosmetologist and hair was what I did and was a passion of mine. But Nope, that only gave me strength to keep fighting this fight.
Being so exhausted like you ran a marathon and so nauseous after Chemotherapy but amped up and restless from the steroids they had given me? Haha, I only used this to my advantage and pushed through the pain so I could spend time outside with my girl.
Getting thrush as an adult from chemotherapy? Yeah….no!
There were so many tests thrown my way but the worst was losing not only my beautiful Inara, but my sweet Johnny boy and Kim, my amazing future mother-in law in a tragic semi accident. That was the worst test of them all. Being the only survivor in the crash AND still having to fight for your life. Burying your 16 month old daughter the day before your birthday, still having one round of chemo left and having to go through radiation all after your world was ripped from you.
But here I stand 4 years later, a 3 year cancer survivor. Through all the “Tests” that have been given to me I still stand.
So with this long drawn out post…I say this – No matter the tests that are thrown your way, and throughout life there will be MANY, Do not give up! It gets tough and yes, there are times when we just need to take a rest or a breather but never give up completely. I promise you are stronger than you know. You are an amazing being and can handle more than you “think” you can. You got this life.”
WOWZERS! To my dear sister friend that shared this story with me… I Salute the epicness of your soul, I LOVE you, and I am honored and beyond blessed to have you in my life! You are SUCH a source of inspiration to me and for all those you touch in your life!!! xoxoo LOVE YOU soul sister!!!